笑话 The Doctor Knows Better

    A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

                                       医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

　　听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

How to Get a Seat by the Fire

A gentleman came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire. He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
"Will your horse eat oysters?"said the hostler.
"Try him,"said the gentleman.
Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and the gentleman who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.

怎样在火炉旁找个座位

在一个严寒的冬日,一位绅士来到了一家小客栈,发现火炉旁没有空位了.于是,他让旅店里的马倌去取些牡蛎来喂他的马。
马倌说:"您的马吃牡蛎吗?"
"你试着喂吧."绅士答道。倾刻间,人们都跑去看这一奇观,而绅士却独自呆在屋里,他在炉旁找了个最好的座位,怡然自得起来。

Heat and Cold  

A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things smaller." “All right! ”Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are shorter because it is cold."

热和冷

学校里正在上物理课.
老师提问:"现在谁能讲一讲对热的认识?"一个小男孩举手回答:"老师,热能使东西膨胀,冷能使东西缩小."老师说:"很好,举一个例子.""夏季,白天变长,因为天气太热；冬季白天缩短,因为天气太冷."