Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个
可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。

It's always me

A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,I'll eat it all!"
The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"

The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

　　总是我

　　一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢？”
　　大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
　　父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢？”
　　又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
　　父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢？”
　　大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”

It's always me

A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,I'll eat it all!"

The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
　　The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

　　总是我

　　一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢？”
　　大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
　　父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢？”
　　又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
　　父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢？”
　　大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”

                    耶稣的电视机
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired. "But what\'s that in the corner?" asked Mother. "Oh, that\'s their telly," replied the tot.

耶稣的电视机

　　圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。 他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。 “可是那个角落里是什么？”妈妈问。 　“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

   这个应该昨天发比较合适.可是昨天发完了,才看到的.呵呵.

Who's the printer?

The professor was giving the final lecture of the term. He spoke about students work and asked them to prepare for the final examination well. He said, "The examination papers are now in the hands of the printer. Are there any questions?"

There was silence. But suddenly a voice from the rear sked, "Who is the printer?"

谁是印刷工？ 　　　
　　　
教授在给学生上本学期的最后一堂课，他讲了一些关于学生的作业情况，然后要求学生好好准备期末考试。他说道，“考卷已经在印刷工手里了。还有什么问题吗？”
教室里一片寂静。突然从后排传出声音问道：“谁是印刷工呀？”

All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance,my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付钱。 　　　
　　　
布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就像一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长，
我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

Asking a question

During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.
"I was just asking her a question, " the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher replied.
"OK," the boy answered. "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

问问题
　　　
计算机课上，老师批评一个男生，因为他和后边的女生说话。
“我只不过问她一个问题。”男生说。
“如果你有问题，问我好了。”老师说道。
“那好吧，”这个男生说，“周五晚上你愿意和我一起出去吗？”

Put the peach back on the tree

Bob: I had a rough time this morning. The farmer caught me in one of his peach trees.

Barbara: Gosh! What did you do?
Bob: I told him one of his peaches fell down and I was trying to put it back!

把桃子放回树上去。

鲍勃：我今天早晨非常不顺。那个农民在他的一棵桃树上抓住了我。
芭巴拉：天啊！你干了些什么呀？
鲍勃：我告诉他他的一个桃子掉在地上了，我只是想把它放回去。

林肯过生日

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。